kaye has wanted me to write an entry for some time, but due to personal reason I have held off until now. kaye and I are at a point in our relationship where the gloves have finally come off. Each day we are faced with issues and situations that will either make or break us as a couple– as team– and it is in these moments when we need to feel secure in the guarantee of our love in order to persevere.
One such issue is how money controls our lives.
It is no lie: money is the root of all evil and it will destroy everything if you let it. But I’m not willing to let it. With kaye and I living 2 hrs apart from each other, money unfortunately dictates everything in our lives right now. It controls how often we see each other, how many extracurricular activities we can participate in and by doing so, money can easily drive a wedge between us, if we let it. It can make us bitter when we can’t see each other, resentful when we desperately need a night out with friends and harsh when our best laid plans are put to rest due to financial restrictions.
All my life, with all the control money holds, I have always refuses to let it rule me. I have always refuses to let myself be burdened over something so, really, inconsequential to the grand scheme of life. I will be the first to admit, a book-keeper I am not. God blessed me as a word-smith, not as an accountant. There have been times when due to my lack of financial responsibility, I have suffered without things for which I have pined. But in reality, most of the time the things I’ve found myself pining for are fleeting and immaterial at best. Only now, for the first time in my life, has money held a grasp on me that I can not shake. Money controls my happiness… ergo: in the end, I must submit.
It pains me to know something so trivial can cause so much suffering. I see it on the faces of people every day. Recession woes and worries have panicked our nation and shook the very foundation of our faith in ourselves. I had hoped kaye and I could supersede those troubles. That such strife would leave us untouched. But evil can find even the smallest fissure and spread it into the deepest crevasse. So, in order to keep what little peace I have in my world. To stave off the pain of losing the single most important thing in my entire existence, I will submit. I will bow to the will of the all mighty dollar if only to appease his worry. I learned long ago that the strongest trees in the woods are not the ones that fight the wind, but instead are the ones who learn to bend in it.
Consider my boughs bent.
(Note to kaye: 500 words, in less than 30 mins. Might not be a record, but it should at least serve as a point.)
There are times in ones life, where taking a moment to catch the fresh air is so comforting and relaxing. Thats what my week was like last week. Its nothing more than being with the one I have fallen in love with. Yes its Miss, she was granted an impromptu week off and decided to spend it will yours truly. The week brought challenges and comfort when needed. Her cooking was to die for and the over all health of our relationship grow from the time we spend together. She leaves me feeling loved and humble with my life. I love her so much words can not describe.
The weekend following the great week was fun spending the night at T&D’s house and going to WS munch. I can say with a great big smile My Life Is Wonderful. I want this feeling to last for the rest of my life. Thank Miss for wa wonderful week.
The last Saturday of July, are normally a vanilla weekend for me. But not this weekend. Saturday was filled with great discussion and fun. The mood at the munch was light hearted and joking around. The play party that was later that night and was a lot fun. I had the privileged to play three time. The first scene I did was a birthday spanking for a lady at the party. Miss enjoyed seeing me take the birthday spanking. And of course I enjoyed myself emensly.After I cooled down and had something to eat.
Miss and Bellaforte had something else in mind for me. So I was ordered to grab the toy bag and head to the play space. What I did not know was the goal for the scene. I found out very quickly there wasn’t one. I was lite up like a Christmas tree, I had every sensation hitting my body and did not know what was next. From what I could tell every toy was used. My bottom was so red and my chest was stripped like a zebra.There was no place untouched by Miss and Bellaforte, they made sure of that. I could not have gone as far as I did with out the love and affection I received during the scene. The only bad part was being in the host’s master bedroom and being careful not to pre-cum any during the scene. After my second cooling down. I had the pleasure of trying stapling play with D at the helm. I have to say I fell in love with stapling because the versatility and use of it. (I will go into more detail about stapling on my next blog) The night ended shortly after I had my staples removed. It was a fun night had by all.
This past weekend, miss and I took it easy for the most part. Except for our play session which was amazing. Still feelin the effects.
The one topic we discussed was anal play. This is one of my favorite type of play in sex or a play session. It’s not a must have item but it give me more of submissive mind set during play. I have glass butt plug which does the trick.
But I have not tried strap on play which is still at the top of my to do list.
Is there a reason why anal play and FemDom relationship go hand in hand.
Recently while I was visiting Miss, We went to our local TNG group for a fun night out and an opportunity for me to get dressed up. The evening started off without a hitch, so to speak. Miss did my make-up in the cross dressing room of the club, before/while the demo was going on. (yes getting a sissy ready takes a while) She then lead me around on a leash, so I would not wonder off. 
We reconnected with old friends and made some new ones, watched people play.
Later on in the evening I really was not getting a good vibe from being dressed up and Miss let me change back into my boy mode. Then she took me into the whip room to have scene with me and proceeded to restrain me properly. THEN it happened. She told me I was going to be punished for masturbating without permission. My heart hit the floor, I was in for a world of hurt. I had clothes pins put on my testicals then was told how easy I have had it. If I did not do as I was told and abid by the rules set forth by her then the next punishment would be savere. I felt so bad for this bad deed I just wanted to be left alone. Then Miss told me My punishemnt was over and it was time we had a good scene. She was on top of here game that night. I have not had a better scene in a long time. I just could not go for long since my head was still wrapped around the punishment. Miss took me down and cuddles with me while we discussed everything.
I finally feel like I can let go of every worry when I am around her. She is the most considerate but firm women I know. I can say with confedence she is my guiding light. I cant wait to have our next scene together.
The past two months of my life seem like a blurr, from being on the road finishing the semester at school to my trip to texas. The one activity that been absent is play time. I have not gotten dressed up in two months!!! I have not even used the new mop cap I got back in January.
This next weekend is the perfect time to get dressed up and be treated like the sissy maid, I have wanted to be for so long. Miss saw this before I did and is planning on treating me as such when I visit next weekend. She has really taken a big step in growing our play time into more of a thought out preplanned event. This means so much to me that she is planning something special for me. I don’t deserve such a wonderful women.
Recently Miss invited me back home to meet her parents and friends. On Saturday, Miss took me to meet some friends of hers, B and A. B&A are steampunk fans and have wanted Miss to do some photos in that genre. I personally think its a great idea to have her dressed up in Victorian era gowns. Plus it would give her a chance to have her sissy maid wait on her hand and foot. So I shall see if Miss decides she wants to do the SteamPunk Photo shoot or not.
I would like her to have such an outfit for scene having to do with sissy maid and tea service. more about that in my next post.
Over the past two months, I have been getting stressed out real easily. I want to be the best boyfriend and Career man as possible. I demand alot and dont give back nearly enough. I put undo stress on my loved ones and co workers.
I need to get back to the fundamentals and not worry about the economy and what everyone thinks about me. I enjoy doing my job and leaving for the day, going to class, talking to Miss. Its like I forgot how to relax and enjoy what I have worked so hard to get. I just need to relax and let things happen.
Miss is so wonderful to me and for me. I put pressure on her which does not need to be there. I promise myself that I will start having fun again and let things not bother me, like they have been.
Over the past month I have been waiting for the weekend when Miss will meet my family. To say the least, She meet everyone in my family. Poor Miss, she was her bright eyed and social butterfly self. It was to my amazement when she fit right in with my immediate family. I have to say the best part of the weekend was having Miss dress up, she is a very beautiful women but when she dresses up she comes to a Goddess like state. It turns me into a puddle when I see her all dressed up.
Valentines day is just around the corner and i am allready to please Miss to the level of perfection she requires. more to come after Vday passes.
This past weekend was spent with Miss. Since my work and school have taken up a lot of my time this past month, I have been unable to travel to see her. I keep in contact with her on a daily basis but it is not the same as being with her in person. I left from to work and drove for three hours to be with her. It seems like the drive to Atlanta gets shorter every time I drive it except for this trip. I know I was eager to be with miss and getting into a traffic jam did not help at all.
I finally was able to make my way to her place. While I was putting my things in the Mistress bedroom, Miss waited patently to welcome me. It was nice being with her on a cozy Friday.
After a nice Friday evening spent reconnecting with Miss, we decided to see the new Underworld movie at the Movie Tavern. The movie was wonderful but the Movie Theater is not a repeat. Don’t me get started. That evening Miss and I went to the FetLife Meet and Greet, which was a blast and I meet a lot of great people.
Miss and I played in what is called the tower which looks kinda like a gazebo. I was unaware that Miss was talking with a friend who is a rope artist. I was soon taken out of my maid uniform and tied into the tower and started to get corperal punishment that I needed so much. Miss did a wonderful job of using the toy to get her message across to me. I soon rose to a mean anger/rage which Miss just could not get enough of. When we finished playing, during the after care I was going over the scene with Miss and said a few things I should not have because I was not in the right state of mind. So I must say I feel really bad for the way I acted towards Miss. She gives me so much and at times I take it for granted. Lesson learned and I will not do that again.
